Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Morals of Pokemon

“Steve, why does the copier seem to jam every time you use it?”
“Cause I’m gay?”
“I doubt that, are you pulling it out instead of letting it print?”
“Not that I am... wait, I thought you would do more than that when I mentioned I was gay.”
“I sort of already knew.”
“Yeah, but you’re Mormon.”
“And I’m gay, you know, you should be mentioning how I shouldn’t be getting married since your favorite book says so.”
“And you should be lighting me on fire and talking to the governor of the state on how to properly eradicate the Mormon problem.”
“Wait, you honestly believe that?”
“Not really, but that is what is being told to everyone Mormon I know.”
“That has to be some kind of joke right?”
“I wish it was, honestly I’m starting to think its all Pokemon.”
“Ok, I want to hear this one. You think this is a game?”
“Pretty much. Most political stuff today is about one side versus the other. We each choose our pokemon and the statements that go with that argument are around four. This works especially if talking about subjects that people know very little about. Minorities get placed in, scientific ideas, stuff like that.”
“Wait, my sexuality and your religion are pokemon?”
“Pretty much.”
“So, you’re Kadabra or something?”
“Not bad, the spoon bending is a nice touch.”
“Right, so what am I?”
“Mr. Mime.”
“Really? I figured I was Jigglypuff.”
“No, thats another minority group.”
“African American.”
“No, I don’t see it.”
“That’s because you have never imagined Jigglypuff saying famous movie lines.”
“I am meowthing tired of these meowthing Poliwags on this meowthing train.”
“Igglypuff, I am your father.”
“I like big butts, and I can not lie.”

“Ok, I see your point. But let’s be honest here, you are just holding onto some small symbol that has no meaning.”
“I can’t speak for other religions, but marriage is really big within my own. We have to go through all the other ceremonies in the temple before we are married. It’s expected to continue on even after death.”
“Yeah, but we’re not going to harm that.”
“Maybe, Mormon’s don’t like anyone ever telling them how to view marriage. Keep in mind, we were willing to be wiped off the face of the earth by American Cavalry a hundred years ago over the same subject.”
“Yeah, and you backed down.”
“So, you are threatening to wipe us out?”
“Then I would say that destroys your argument.”
“But you’re evil.”
“How, for defending something? Keep in mind, we defended your rights quite a few times. It’s just as symbolic to you that the word marriage be included as you think it is for us.”
“So you want to argue?”
“No, I want to do the opposite. We have a disagreement, and honestly most of it is being pushed up by people outside of our groups for some purpose that looks a lot like a pokemon game. Personally, I am not going to act scared of you, if you grant me the same.”
“Fine, but I got to know. What’s Charizard?”
“Republicans, and Blastoise is Democrats.”
“Then what about poor venusaur then?”
“The rarely used green party.”

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